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Showing posts with label English Text. Show all posts
Showing posts with label English Text. Show all posts

Is Your Cell Phone Putting You at Risk?

Source : MSN.com

When Vini Khurana, PhD, an Australian (and Mayo Clinic–trained) neurosurgeon, announced that the link between cell-phone use and cancer was irrefutable- -the result of his analysis of more than 100 studies--it set off alarm bells around the world. Use a cell phone, he said, and you increase your risk of developing a malignant brain tumor by two to four times. Until recently, the majority of research indicated little or no link between cell phones and cancer (the World Health Organization and the American Cancer Society maintain that cell phones pose no threat), but several new long-term studies have cast doubt about their safety. Given that cell phones and PDAs serve as lifelines for so many people--24 percent of 10- and 11-year-olds carry them--it raises urgent questions. To find out what precautions you should take when using your cell phone, we dialed the nation's leading experts.

Do cell phones cause cancer?

Maybe…with extended use. Mobile-phone users are twice as likely to develop malignant, difficult-to- treat brain tumors called gilomas, according to a first-of-its- kind study that analyzed the effects of cell-phone use over 10 years or more and was published last year in the journal Occupational Environmental Medicine. The Bioinitiative Working Group, an international coalition of scientists and public-health experts, recently published a hefty report detailing the link between the nonionizing radiation caused by a cell phone's electromagnetic fields (EMFs) and cancer, DNA damage, Alzheimer's, and other diseases. "The cells in the body react to EMFs in cell phones just like they do to other environmental toxins, including heavy metals and chemicals," says Martin Blank, PhD, a professor in bioelectromagnetics at Columbia University and one of the report's authors. The study found that risk from cell-phone use starts at 260 lifetime hours.

Do cell phones emit radiation only when you are talking?

No. "Cell phones give off radiation any time they're turned on so that they can communicate with base stations," says Lou Bloomfield, PhD, professor of physics at the University of Virginia and author of How Everything Works: Making Physics Out of the Ordinary. "The radiation emitted, however, is stronger and more frequent when you're talking or messaging." Also, the greater distance you are from a base station, the more radiation your phone must emit in order to get a signal, which is why your phone feels hot when you have low reception. That heat you feel is radiation. The Bioinitiative study found that adverse effects to DNA can also occur before the phone heats up. To reduce your exposure, make calls only when you have strong reception, hang up before your phone heats up, and store your phone away from your body when it's not in use.

What is a phone's SAR value and why does it matter?

SAR stands for specific absorption rate, and it refers to the rate of radiation exposure from radio frequency and microwaves measured in watts per kilogram of tissue, says Bloomfield. The FCC limit on any cell phone sold in this country is 1.6 watts per kilogram. To find the SAR value for your phone, go to fcc.gov/cgb/ sar/. At press time, the phone with the lowest radiation was the LG KG800, at 0.135 w/kg. The highest: Motorola V195s, at 1.6 w/kg. The Apple iPhone is in the middle, at 0.974 w/kg.

What is the range of the radiation?

Exposure to radiation from your cell phone drops off slowly for the first three to four inches from your body, and then it falls dramatically, says Bloomfield. To reduce your exposure, invest in a hands-free headset and limit the amount of time you spend talking on the phone. Khurana recommends using the speaker mode and holding the phone about eight inches away from you. Also, limit your use of Bluetooth devices. While it's true that they emit the least amount of radiation (one study found they can operate as low as 0.001 watts per kilogram), even that can add up fast.

Is it risky to carry a cell phone in your pants pocket?


Maybe. One 2006 study found no link to testicular cancer, but other researchers suspect a link to male infertility. Ashok Agarwal, PhD, director of the Center for Reproductive Medicine at the Cleveland Clinic, recently completed a study in which cell phones were set down for one hour in talk mode, next to sperm samples in test tubes. He found that the sperm's motility and viability were significantly reduced, and levels of harmful free radicals increased after exposure. Agarwal suggests storing the phone in your jacket pocket to reduce exposure to cell-phone radiation. Pregnant women need to take precautions too, because a recent study found that cell-phone use while pregnant is linked to behavioral problems in children.

Are kids more at risk?

"Yes, since children's nervous systems are still developing, and they have thinner scalps and skulls than adults, they should use cell phones only in emergencies, " says Gene Barnett, MD, professor and director of the Brain Tumor and Neuro-Oncology Center at the Cleveland Clinic. The association between childhood leukemia and exposure to EMFs like those from cell phones has led the International Agency for Research on Cancer to classify them as a "possible human carcinogen." The medical establishments in Germany, France, and the United Kingdom all recommend severe restrictions on children's cell-phone use, with some experts going so far as to say that children under 16 shouldn't use cell phones at all. Make sure your kids opt for landlines when they're at home, and if you must buy them a cell phone for emergencies, get one with a low SAR number.

What about texting?

It's actually a safer way to communicate, says David O. Carpenter, MD, director of the Institute for Health and the Environment at the University at Albany. Since kids hold phones away from their bodies when texting, they're exposed to less radiation than when they have the phones to their ears. "We are very concerned about teen cell-phone use, fearing that we face an epidemic of brain tumors 10 to 20 years from now, and there are so few who are raising warning flags," says Dr. Carpenter. Make sure your teen keeps his cell phone turned off and stored in his backpack when it isn't in use, which will dramatically reduce exposure.


The 10 worst cell phones according to their SAR numbers:
1. Motorola V195s 1.6
2. Motorola Slvr L6 1.58
3. Motorola Slvr L2 1.54
4. Motorola W385 1.54
5. Rim BlackBerry Curve 8330 (Sprint) 1.54
6. Rim BlackBerry Curve 8330 (Verizon) 1.54
7. Motorola Deluxe ic902 1.53
8. T-Mobile Shadow 1.53
9. Motorola i335 1.53
10. Samsung Sync SGH-C417 1.51


The 10 best cell phones according to their SAR numbers:

1. LG KG800 0.135
2. Motorola Razr V3x 0.14
3. Nokia 9300 0.21
4. Nokia N90 0.22
5. Samsung SGH-G800 0.23
6. Samsung Sync SGH-A707 0.236
7. Nokia 7390 0.26
8. Samsung SGH-T809 0.32
9. Bang & Olufsen Serene 0.33
10. Motorola Razr2 V8 0.36

Beautiful poem by a sad Dad from Zimbabwe

This is worth reading...

This was forwarded to me by a friend in WAYN. Thanx Mr. Anuar.

A beautiful poem written by a Father to save his Daughter

Do read it once...........
I am sure u also won't be left untouched by the words and the feelings that they depict.
The last stanza, after reading from the beginning, suddenly slows down the heart-beats..

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning,
I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning,
I will let you choose what you want to wear,
and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning,
I am going to step over the laundry and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning,
I will leave the dishes in the sink,
and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon,
I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off,
and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon,
I will not yell once,
not even a tiny grumble when you scream and
whine for the ice cream truck,
and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon,
I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up,
or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon,
I will let you help me bake cookies,
and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon,
I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening,
I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening,
I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening,
I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening,
I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray,
I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children,
the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms.

The mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming inside that little body.

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter,
a little longer.
It is then,
that I will thank God for you,
and ask him for nothing,
except one more day..............

A Date

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take
another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said I
love you but I know this other woman loves you and
would love to spend some time with you.



The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my
MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the
demands of my work and my three children had made it
possible to visit her only occasionally.




That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner
and a movie.




'What's wrong, are you well,' she asked? My mother is
the type of woman who suspects that a late night call
or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,' I
responded. 'Just the two of us.'
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I
would like that very much.'




That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up
I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I
noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our
date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had
curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had
worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an
angel's.




'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my
son, and they were impressed, 'she said, as she got
into the car. 'They can't wait to hear about our
meeting'. We went to a restaurant that, although not
elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my
arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down,
I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through
the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting
there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you
were small,' she said.




'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the
favor,' I responded.




During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation -
nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent
events of each other's life. We talked so much that we
missed the movie.




As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go
out with you again, but only if you let me invite
you.' I agreed.




'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got
home. 'Very nice. Much more so than I could have
imagined,' I answered.




A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart
attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to do
anything for her.




Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy
of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and
I had dined.




An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I
wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I
paid for two plates - one for you and the other for
your wife. You will never know what that night meant
for me. I love you, son.'




At that moment, I understood the importance of saying
in time: 'I LOVE YOU!' and to give our loved ones the
time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more
important than God and your family. Give them the
time they deserve, because these things cannot be put
off till 'some other time.'




Pass this along to everyone with an aging parent, to a
child, to an adult, to anyone with a parent.
Enjoy your day

Downloading iPod Music - Advantages and Disadvantages


Consider this. You have recently bought a new set of your much awaited iPod and now you wish to download your favorite music. How will you go about this? Probably, you would think of downloading iTunes but here the cost can be a big set back to your plans. Since, they charge per song or music download and hence the cost of your downloading can exceed your budget. But the good news for you is that now there are many membership sites which offer you unlimited downloading of iPod music, songs, and music videos for one time membership charges. But there are certain advantages and disadvantages for music and video downloading from these sites.

Advantages of music and video downloads


• Lifetime membership for one time payment - The membership of these sites cost you only once. Once you have subscribed for the membership, you can download unlimited number of songs or music at your iPod. There is no restriction of the number of the songs and time of downloading.

• Low cost - the iPod music downloads sites save you a lot of money as compared to the other downloads which charge you per song. Moreover, the cost of buying the CDs would also cost you more than the one time membership charges paid for unlimited music and songs.

• Unlimited Music - These sites offer you millions of songs and music, so you can choose any of your choice and can download that in your iPod. Also, the latest hits are always available on such sites.

• Unlimited number of media files, movies, videos, and games - Besides the music, these sites offer you unlimited number of other media files such as movies, videos, games, and TV shows to be saved in your iPod.

• Free Software - Most of these membership sites offer you the free software including music and video converters enabling the music and movie files to be converted into iPod compatible format such as MP3 and H.264 video. So, a good amount of money is saved by these sites, which would have otherwise been spent on the expensive video conversion applications.



Disadvantages of music and video downloads

• Illegal sites - There may be some sites which can lead you to face scams. Always make sure that you read the terms and conditions carefully, so that you are not dragged to any kind of violation of the copyright laws for downloading the music for your iPod. So, be careful about the music and the source you are downloading from.

• Poor downloading speed - Some of the membership sites are there which are only concerned with making money and thus cannot provide good services to its customers. These sites are poorly maintained and hence there servers cannot stand with the growing traffic volumes resulting into low speed of downloading. While on other side, there are some very good sites which offer the excellent services to its customers by providing good speed of downloading.

• Poor after-sales services - Some of the sites are so badly run that they do not even bother about the quality after-sales services and customer support. So, make it sure to confirm all aspects of a membership site before subscribing to it.

So, there are both, good things and bad things of the membership sites for downloading of iPod music. What you are required to maintain that always enquire everything about a site, so that you do not get caught up in wrong hands.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jenny_R_Smith

Fungus Nails Can Make a Person Self Conscious


This is a condition which can make the person very self conscious and is rather difficult to treat at the same time. This is because the fungus which is an organism called Dermatophytes starts living off the protein in the nail which is keratin. The nail starts looking patchy and discolored and this infection spreads to the rest of the nails. Sometimes the fungus affects the skin around the nails too. This condition is brought on by moist and warm conditions such as wet and sweaty socks and shoes. The fungus infection could also be brought about by in growing nails and incorrect ways of cutting the nails. Persons, who have a lower immunity because of poor circulation, are HIV positive and those who have diabetes are more prone to nail fungus.

During the early stages the nail is discolored and may have white patches on it or may have horizontal yellow streaks on it. Later the nail gets deformed and becomes thick and could crumble and split. There is a foul smell in the nail too.

A person should see the doctor when they notice signs of nail fungus such as brittle nails that slit easily, suddenly develop in growing toe nails, suffer with secondary infection with the in growing toe nail, have a lot of discomfort when wearing shoes and if they still neglect the condition may have to have the nail removed. Of course the nail will grow back, but why allow the condition to deteriorate to this extent in the first place.

What one needs is a diagnosis as early as possible. This can be done with diagnostic tests which will help a chiropodist to give the proper and effective treatment. Some of the treatments that the chiropodists advise are medications and a nail lacquer to treat such conditions. The nail would be cut in a suitable way and nail grinders may be used for this purpose and the in growing toe nails could be removed surgically. The chiropodist will advise the patient the proper way to trim the nail also. However it takes almost a year to cure nail fungus effectively.

http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tom_Chuong

Free Audio Book Downloads

Time seems to be getting harder to come by these days, and enjoying any kind of R&R seems like a far-fetched dream! There are those that enjoy sports, some enjoy hiking, some enjoy playing cards, and there are those that enjoy reading, such as myself. However, being short on time made that activity seem so far away. Then I stumbled upon the world of free audio book downloads!

There are many sites that offer a large selection of free audio book downloads, including all of the popular fiction titles, classics, non-fiction titles, and so much more. What makes these audio books fascinating is the quality of the narrators hired to read these books - sometimes, an publishers cast an entire crew to dramatize the story - but I digress. What really is the big deal with free audio book downloads? Imagine this: you're walking your dog (which I love doing every day), but which is just another responsibility that takes up time. Instead of listening to a radio/walkman, how about listening to that new top-selling fiction release, which you downloaded to your iPod or other compatible MP3 players. There are three benefits: 1) Time passes quickly while doing something you enjoy. 2) You'll get to enjoy the reading you've missed so much and 3) you'll learn to enjoy reading like never before, because of the professional narrators reading the novel to you!

Can you think of other ways to enjoy free audio book downloads during your daily routines? How about while you're:

* Jogging
* Cleaning the house
* Hiking
* Commuting to work
* While you're working
* Mowing the lawn
* Waiting to board a plane
* On a plane
* Waiting to pick up your kids
* The list is really endless...

I say free audio book downloads, because you can try these plans out absolutely free for one month. If you don't like it, simply cancel the service, and you'll get to keep the free audio book downloads. You may be wondering how this program works? See the link below for more information on how to start enjoying audio books today!

AudioBookGeek.com provides many resources for enjoying free audio book downloads. The site includes reviews, news, and multiple download resources to choose from.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Victor_Carrera

Entertaining audio books


An audio book is a recording of the verbal word as opposed to music. It is often based on a recording of commercially available printed material such as book, manual, journal, and etc. It was not intended to be descriptive of the word "book" but is rather a recorded spoken program in its own right and not necessarily an audio version of a book. Nowadays, audio books are not only applicable for those blind or illiterate people but also benefit others.

Audio books are usually distributed on CDs, cassette tapes, downloadable digital formats (e.g., MP3 and WMA) and most recently, some preloaded digital formats such as Playaway. The popularity of portable music players such as the iPod has made audio books more accessible to people for portable listening. Whilst so many audio books available to download on internet. Everybody can buy their desired audio books by various distributors or maybe they can get it free.

It is more entertaining to listen to audio books than reading. You can listen to someone else read while you do other activities and enjoy the audio books contain. For those peoples who don’t have enough time to read, they can simply listen to audio books during driving, working, or whenever and wherever they want. You can even benefit audio books for the kids to listen to on long trips.

Many fictional audio books are narrated by famous actors or people with intriguing voices to bring the characters of the book to life. So you can listen to your favorite audio books about romance, comedy, suspense, or even horror stories with a sense of "being there". To enjoy page after page of entertainment, download audio books online and build your listening library today!

Best Quotes

If we cannot love the person who we see,
how can we love God,
whom we cannot see?
~Mother Teresa~
Yeah.. it's right. I love my God very much but its not easy for me to love the person who hurt me.

3 sentences for getting SUCCESS :
1) know more than other
2) work more than other
3) expect less than other
~William Shakesphere~
No wonder why its hard for me to success in my job. I know less than other, work less than other but expect more than other...hehhe..
If you win, you need not to explain....
BUT if you lose, you should not be there to explain.
~Adolph Hitler~
Oh no... I'm not a loser..
Don't compare yourself with anyone in this world.
If you do so, you're insulting yourself.
~Alen Strike~
I never compare myself with anyone in this world but I like to compare others... hehhe.

Winning does'nt always mean being first ,
winning means you're being better than you've than before.
~Bonnie Blair~
It is hard to be a winner but it is harder to maintain the win.


I will not say that I failed 1000 times.
I will say that I discovered there are 1000 ways that can cause failure.
~Thomas Edison~
Learn from the failure... the best way to make improvement.

Income of The Great Bill Gates

1. Bill Gates earns US$250 every SECOND, that's about US$20 Million a DAY and US$7.8 Billion a YEAR!

2. If he drops a thousand dollar, he won't even bother to pick it up bcoz the 4 seconds he picks it, he would've already earned it back.

3. The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion, if Bill Gates were to pay the debt by himself; he will finish it in less then 10 years.

4. He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth but still be left with US$5 Million for his pocket money.

5. Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in US. If he doesn't drink and eat, and keeps up his annual income i.e. US$30 Million, he'll have to wait for 277 years to become as rich as Bill Gates is now.

6. If Bill Gates was a country, he would be the 37th richest country on earth.

7. If you change all of Bill Gate's money to US$1 notes, you can make a road from earth to moon, 14 times back and forth. But you have to make that road non-stop for 1,400 years, and use a total of 713 BOEING 747 planes to transport all the money.

8. Bill Gates is 40 this year. If we assume that he will live for another 35 years, he has to spend US$6.78 Million per day to finish all his money before he can go to heaven.

Last but not the least: If Microsoft Windows' users can claim US$1 for every time their computers hang because of Microsoft Windows, Bill Gates will be bankrupt in 3 years !!!!!!! !!!!

Definitions you won't find in the dictionary!

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right
and you need to shut up

FIVE MINUTES
if she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is
only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to
watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
this is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you
should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually
end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
this is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
this is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make
to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
a woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say
you're welcome.

Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments
they can avoid if they remember the terminology!

And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!

Oh, and before we forget
"Whatever"
...it's a woman's way of saying *! #@ YOU

Inspirational and Beautiful Story " Flower and a Pearl.....


One day, a brilliantly beautiful and fragrant flower with attractive colors met a pearl that lives far in the bottom of the sea and has none of these characteristics. Both got acquainted with each other.

The flower said: "Our family is large; roses and daisies are members of the family. And there are many other species that are various and countless; each has a distinctive scent, appearance etc."

Suddenly, a tinge of distress appeared on the flower. "Nothing accounts for sorrow in your talk; so why are depressed?" The pearl asked.

"Human beings deal with us carelessly; they slight us. They don't grow us for our sake but to get pleasure from our fragrance and beautiful appearance. They throw us on the street or in the garbage can after we are dispossessed of the most valuable properties; brilliance and fragrance."

The flower sighed. And then the flower said to the pearl: "Speak to me about your life! How do you live? How do you feel it? You are buried in the bottom of the sea."


The pearl answered: "Although I have none of your distinctive colors and sweet scents, humans think I am precious. They do the impossible to procure me. They go on long journeys, dive deep in the seas searching for me. You might be astounded to know that the further I lay, the more beautiful and brilliant I become.

That's what upraises my value in their thought. I live in a thick shell isolated in the dark seas. However, I'm happy and proud to be in a safe zone far from wanton and mischievous hands and still the humans consider me highly valuable."

Do you know what the flower and the pearl symbolize?

Think, Think, Think...

You will find that: The flower is the unveiled woman (who shows her charms) and the pearl is the veiled woman (who conceals her beauties).

Moral :So decide do you want to be like a flower or Pearl, Flower which is used when needed and thrown away in Garbage after it is used or Pearl which is highly valuable and respected every where.

Great answer to Wife... Must Read once..

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

The husband says, "What?"

The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her Christmas shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.

She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewellery Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she doesn't care.

She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis! Well, okay if you like it then let's get it. You deserve the best for Christmas."

The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register." The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey, I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."

The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a man."

Worried About Having Your Car Stolen?

Here is the new foolproof security system for your car.
It is simple and very easy to install.
Does not need batteries.
Will not rust.
Can be voice activated!

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Good one........Touching Heart...

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"

The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"

The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time,

What is this?"

At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, "What is this?"

This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT
IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-

"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and

I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".

While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.

So..

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me.

They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".

Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.

ABC of motivation

A void negative sources, people, places, things and habits.

B elieve in yourself.

C onsider things from every angle.

D on't give up and don't give in.

E njoy life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.

F amily and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their riches.

G ive more than you planned to.

H ang on to your dreams.

I gnore those who try to discourage you.

J ust do it.

K eep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier.

L ove yourself first and most.

M ake it happen.

N ever lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.

O pen your eyes and see things as they really are.

P ractice makes perfect.

Q uitters never win and winners never quit.

R ead, study and learn about everything important in your life.

S top procrastinating.

T ake control of your own destiny.

U nderstand yourself in order to better understand others.

V isualize it.

W ant it more than anything.

E X cellerate your efforts.

Y ou are unique of all God's creations, nothing can replace YOU.

Z ero in on your target and go for it!

Bill Gates

Bill Gates in Hell

Bill Gates dies and goes to hell.
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.

Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a Beautiful young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says, "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.

"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks," snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it and the girl hasn't..."

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys."

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."

===========================================================================

Letter to Mr.Bill Gates

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to the internet, we planned to open an email account & whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column. Only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santosh Singh and he said that there is no problem with the keyboard. Because of this we open the email account with password ******. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We're unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down' button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop'. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is a 'run' in the menu. One of my friends has clicked 'run' and has run up to Amritsar! So we request you to change that to 'sit'. So that we can click that button by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any’re-scooter' available in the system? As I find only’re-cycle', but I own a scooter at home.

6. There is a 'find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot on tracing the key with this 'find' but unable to trace. Is it a 'bug'?

7. Every night I'm not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, so I suggest that you provide 1 dog to kill that cat.

8. Please confirm when you are going to give me money for winning Hearts (playing cards in game) and when are you coming to my home to collect your money.

9. My child learnt Microsoft Word now he wants to learn Microsoft Sentence, so when can you provide that?

:tq:

SHORT & FUNNY JOKES

Condom says to Kotex,
"When you work, I lose seven days of business."

Kotex replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine
months

============================

A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: "Why do you have
your tits on your back?"

The camel responded: "What a silly question from someone who has a
dick on his face!"

===============================

A black guy and a white girl met at a nite club. She took him to her
apartment and said: "tie me to the bed and do what black men do best!"

so he ran off with the TV and VCD...

===============================


Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"

Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so
I can have a NEW ONE every morning!

===========================

A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown.

Finally, name of the baby was SAM TING LONG ("some thing wrong"

==============================

A lady visited her doctor one morning.

Doc said: "You look so weak and exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3
times a day as I advised?

Lady : "Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!"

============================

Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing... ..

When the caller asked what's he doing, the maid Replied:
"MASTURBATING."(master bathing)

Annie Wan

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan!
It's urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to
anyone!
But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our
brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan
got injured
and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right
now, Avery
Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was
sent to
the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent
matter! You may
find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your
name!!

HAAA.... HAAA,... HAAA.....!!!!

Funny One Liners

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.

2.. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9.. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.

10..God must love stupid people; He made so many.

11..The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

12..Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

13..Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

14..Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!

15..Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

16..Procrastinate Now!

17.. I have an MBA, would you like to see the wine list sir?

18..A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

19..A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

20..Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

21..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

22..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

23..Ham and eggs. A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

24..The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

25..The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

26..I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.
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